Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Dear Rev. King,

Dear Rev. King,

On August 28, 1963, you stood on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, and uttered those famous words, "I have a dream..."

Your dream has yet to be fully realized, but I'm sure that you are proud of how far America has come in electing its 44th President Barack Obama. I just wish it hadn't have taken 45 years to break this barrier.

Congratulations to the United States, to the world....and of course, President Elect Barack Obama and Vice President Elect Joe Biden...

Let the healing begin.

Monday, November 3, 2008


I voted.

You can probably guess who I voted for. But no matter who you vote for, no matter what country you're in, remember to vote (as long as you can vote without some idiot telling you how to vote without an automatic weapon stuck in your ear, or other hole that might allow easy access to your naughty bits).

For those of you who have been hiding like a groundhog, or other mammal that likes to spend its time five feet underground, there was a more serious candidate running for office, with the last name of Palin. Unfortunately, Michael was born in Great Britain, and can't really run for President of the United States (like Arnold).

Of all the emails I've received, I'd like you to read the last email from the "Silly Party" (this one is not that silly).

The somewhat important 2008 election is upon us.

Silly though we may usually be, we at the Committee
to Elect Michael Palin President would like to take
a moment to say, in all seriousness...


Vote like the wind!

Vote like you've never voted before!

Vote like your life depends on it! (It may)

Vote like the ice caps are melting! (They are)

Vote like if you don't then the Spanish Inquisition
will fry you up and toss you into a Spanish Omelet!

Vote like a crazed weasel with its head on fire that
has to vote in order for someone to dunk its head in
a bucket of water, thus dousing the fire and eliciting
a collective sigh of relief from every other potentially
flammable weasel, stoat or ocelot in the vicinity.



We believe we've made our point.

And now back to our regularly-scheduled silliness...


Until next time...

Your friends at the Temporarily Serious
Though Usually Quite Silly Party

P.S. If you're not a U.S. citizen, please feel free
to close your eyes and vote metaphysically.

Michael Palin for President

11870 Santa Monica Blvd.
Suite 106-535
Los Angeles, CA

If you still haven't made up your mind, you might consider waiting outside on your roof for the little green men to take you back to the planet you've been living on for the past 20 months. You've missed it all.

My final thought on this whole campaign:


Tuesday, October 28, 2008


Tired of having mud shoved down your throat? Longing for commercials advertising the latest in birth control, hemorrhoid creams, or the most recent artery clogging SAD menu at the local fast food joint?

Well, humor is said to be one of the best things to drive away depression. I don't know about you, but after a two year long Presidential campaign, I want it to be over!

Until then, my thanks to Paris Hilton. I'm not a Paris fan, but I must admit that she's brought some much needed humor into this election!


Sunday, October 19, 2008


Yes, I'm alive. I've been glued to my television watching Keith Obermann, and trying to figure out who is winding the "Caribou Barbie" up each morning.

Although this is probably the most important Presidential election in my 51 years this time on the planet, I want to take the time to say:


Yes, there's something more important than the talking heads on television. There's someting more important than the stock market crash of 2008. There's even something more important than trying to figure out whether the dog is going to make it out the back door without making a mess on your nice hardwood floor. YOU are more important than anything else going on in the world around you!

If you don't take the time to take care of yourself, you won't be able to help those around you! You'll wind up with your leg in the air, wearubg a pair of black sheer support hose, because your phlebitis is acting up for the first time in more than 25 years! (I speak from experience! But that's another post.)


The Raw Divas have teamed up with Angela Stokes, and Dr. Adiel (“Dr. T”) Tel-Oren, MD, to make this the most exciting and informative Body Enlightenment System ever!

So do yourself a favor, and make a commitment to yourself. At the same time you can have a little fun by making sure that my wife Keely, who is the Customer Service Diva, works her butt off and I get the bed to myself for the next few days! Yes, I'm a bed hog! (No, I don't wear lipstick!)


Body Enlightenment System - So What IS Big Bessy??

Monday, September 1, 2008


I've been trying to control myself, but I just heard John McCain say during an interview on The Today Show that Americans were happy with his choice. I might give you cause to be pissed off at me, but I hope I'll at least cause you to think.

McCain is right that we're happy if we want to see Obama in office.



There, I've said it. I know, but I had to yell it from the roof tops. This is the most important election in the last 100 years.

Now let me explain myself.

Why is she "insulting"?

I shouldn't have to even point out the obvious after she was booed during one of her first forays on the National scene. Its even more obvious as the boos came from the Republican base. But it goes further than that.

John McCain wants to be the candidate of change yet he picks out an evangelical christian who wants to force woman into the dark corners of back alleys if they need an abortion, and who wants to continue the politics of division by denying basic civil rights to honest Americans based upon their sexual preference.

Oh, I am so excited that she's a lifetime member of the NRA, and finds it fulfilling to go out and blow the brains out of a caribou.

Sarah Palin doesn't advance the causes of women in America, she takes them back to the 1960's. So its not a real surprise, as McCain can't seem to move away from the message that he's qualified to be President because he was a prisoner of war.

Why would you pick a person like Sarah Palin as a Vice President? Well, just like Bush, she's an evangelical Christian. We've had an evangelical Christian as President for 8 years and he's been a total failure with the worst approval rating in American history. Nixon was a better President!

OK, she was mayor of a city of less than 7,000, and has been the governor of a state for less than 2 years with a population that is less than the city of Austin, Texas.

Do you really want to take the chance of this person being the President if McCain can't even finish his first term because he's 72 years old?

Well, she does have other qualifications. She was called "Sarah Barracuda" by her High School Basketball team. (Putin is quaking in his boots!)

Ed Rollins, a conservative, and CNN contributor wrote: "she was runner-up for the Miss Alaska title, won Miss Congeniality in that contest and plays the flute."

HOT DAMN! We've got "Gidget the Musician" as McCain's running mate! She can play the "Pied Piper" and get the bad guys to leave their caves in Afghanistan!

McCain has made a big issue out of who is the most qualified leader. In my opinion he has made a case as to why Obama is the best choice for President. In McCain's first big decision he has picked a person with absolutely no real experience to be a Vice President, let alone a President.

Our last president was at least a Governor for a full term, Palin has only been a Governor for two years.

Whatever your religious background, you need to ask yourself if you trust Senator Joe Biden to step in to the office of President, or a Governor with little National experience, and no International experience, but who was once "Miss Congeniality"? Hip, hip, hooray?

Sarah Palin in 1982, Wasilla High School
Anchorage Daily News

Sunday, August 3, 2008


Where have I been? I have no idea! I've been involved in everything but my own life. Its time to get grounded, and renew!

I can tell you about the last 24 hours. They are the most surrealistic in the last couple of weeks. Keely and I went to the Ohio State Fair.

We had volunteered to help Sue Miller with her Migun booth at the Buckeye Sports Complex. We both enjoyed introducing people to the Migun bed. After a month of having one in our home, we're still hooked! My sleep patterns are more regulated, and Keely's doctor told her that she had the blood pressure of a teenager. Not bad for your late 40's!

Things were going well until I decided to take a walk. I wasn't sure if I'd walked into a Robert Altman, or a Michael Moore film.

It was hot and sticky. There was the bearded lady and the little person holding the python.

People were walking around stuffing their faces with every type of "food" imaginable! Cotton candy, caramel apples, and all sorts of chicken, pig, and cow parts, that were roasted, deep fried, battered, and bruised.

Caligula would have been right at home.

The said it was only 84 F, but with the blacktop, and the crowds, it felt like it was over 90.

Then I got lost, and saw the Bricker Bldg. The doors were closed and I figured it had to be air conditioned. I should have stayed in the heat. It was like walking in to "infomercial hell"!

The Bricker Bldg. had every piece of garbage you could imagine. There was the booth called "Egypt World". Everything for sale had an Egyptian theme, and was probably made in Thailand. There were ladders, and shovels, and siding. I probably could have found that person who grates on my nerves that hawks "Oxy-clean" on the idiot box if I had stayed longer.

Then I heard it. There was band music. Just like in a Robert Altman, or Michael Moore film, a marching band was coming straight down the aisle at me. High School students playing their hearts out, with smiles on their faces, bent on the destruction of sanity!

I would have loved to have known who the idiot was whose idea it was to have a full band walk down the main aisle of a crowded building in the middle of a fair!

There's something innocent about a fair, and something outrageous at the same time. Fairs remind me of how little America has changed. We are still a country of people demanding instant gratification. We feel that because we're Americans we aren't responsible for how we treat our planet and the rest of the counties on this insignificant world (on a cosmic scale).

We screamed when gasoline hit more than $4.00 a gallon. Now that the prices have dropped, we aren't as concerned.

Will I go back to the fair this year? No way in hell!

Should you go to the fair? I'd highly recommend it. A visit to your local fair will hopefully remind you that its time to take a step back, re-assess your life, and take responsibility for your actions.

Oh, one last thing. I'm a political animal. Nothing is more fun than getting steamed at times over the stupidity of those in Congress and the flocks of sheep who walk in awe of their positions in Washington.

We are in one of the most important Presidential elections of the last 50 years, and it is starting to remind me of children playing in a sandbox. Has either party considered how dumb they look to the rest of the planet? I just want to vote and get this over with!

This past week, McCain was proud of the ads he ran comparing Obama to two really stupid looking blonds in the news named Paris and Britney. I have one warning to McCain.

Watch trying to make blonds look dumb. After all, John, you married a blond, who was addicted to painkillers back in the early 90's. Sounds Hollywood to me!

I guess John McCain has even more of a connection to Paris and Britney than Obama has! But maybe McCain's memory isn't what it used to be when he was younger. Although I'm not 100% happy with either candidate, I'll vote for hope, over someone who appears to me to be nothing more than a caustic, mean, old man. After eight years of fear and hatred, we owe America and the world a real chance at happiness.

Hope to talk soon!

Friday, July 4, 2008

Our New Baby Migun!

Our Migun is here! I must admit that I was shocked the first time I used it.

When I use the bed at our local Migun dealer, Migun of Westerville, I'm out the door in less than an hour. When I used it at home I didn't get the same reaction. I FELL ASLEEP! I didn't wake up for over an hour!

Can you believe a piece of medical equipment that relaxes you so much, while doing great things to your body, that lets you fall asleep? It's un-American!

How does Migun expect Americans to accept a piece of equipment that gives you a deep heat massage and lets you relax! Americans aren't supposed to relax! We're supposed to be driving the girls to dance class, singing class, art class, soccer, baseball. We're supposed to be working long hours without pay. We're supposed to be eating crappy fast food, and worrying about our hearts, our stomachs, our weight, while our butts hang over our chairs!

How dare Migun present us with a tool that helps to align our body, relaxes our body and mind, and lets us fall asleep, while assisting the body with detoxification?

For shame Migun for selling a product that will actually help us reach our health goals!

I guess I should take a moment to once again thank everyone at Migun of Westerville for helping us down the road to better health. Can you believe that there are people like Sue Miller, the Westerville Migun dealer, who cares enough about people and a product to take the chance on a new career? I stopped by after work on Wednesday, July 2, and the place was mobbed! They were so busy that I let someone else take my spot since I knew my Migun was being delivered on Thursday.

To all those people who were using the beds on Wednesday, don't be so selfish. Do what I did. Buy a bed from Sue! You'll be even more happy if you can get up in the morning, and fall asleep on your own Migun. Let people who haven't been introduced to the Migun use the beds like I did on Wednesday!

No, I won't accept the excuse that you don't have room for a bed. We own a condo, We made room for our bed, and we're damn glad we did!

On a personal note, I think I alluded to knowing Sue Miller in a previous life. That life was 3rd grade at Ranchwood Elementary in Mansfield, Ohio. Well, its worse than that. Not only were we in 3rd Grade together, but in 1st Grade at Ranchwood, and Kindergarten at Woodland Elementary. We hadn't seen each other for over forty years, and didn't make the connection until after we'd bought the bed from her.

Sometimes the universe does something to prove to you that you made the best decision. Learning that Sue and I went to grade school together was that message for me.

You want proof! OK, I'll give you proof! Here's the proof! Here's a picture of both Sue and I in Ms. Mosey's 1st grade class. She's in the last row on the right with her blonde hair, blue dress with big white buttons, and her huge smile! Next to her on the end is her friend Nancy Trbovich. Me? I'm front and center in the first row. I've got the red sweater on that's unbuttoned at the bottom. I was hard to dress even then!

Make sure to stop in at Migun of Westerville at 2509 West Shrock Rd., Westerville, Ohio, 43081 and say hello to Sue. She hasn't changed in all these years. Their new hours beginning on Monday, July 7, 2008, are from 10AM to 6PM Monday through Friday, and 1PM to 5 PM on Saturdays. If you're new to Migun, call ahead and set up a time so they can talk to you about what you can expect. Their number is 614-882-4133.

Where can you find me? I'll probably be someplace, six feet under for posting this picture! ;-)

Sunday, June 22, 2008


Where have I been? Living.

A lot has been going on. For the first time since September I've been able to relax at work. Our workload has become manageable for the moment, and we're all learning to breath again! I decided to take a break.

So now that I'm back, what am I excited about? MIGUN!

No, I didn't buy a gun! We're buying a "Migun"!

Remember, a Raw Food diet is not the magic bullet that some might wish you to believe. Food isn't the only thing that impacts our lives. Its true that it is probably the most important tool you have for a healthy life, but many other things will support happiness.

Happiness is also a "Migun" (My apologies to John Lennon for thinking of his song at the time I wrote this. If you know who the Beetles were (and I know some people in the world have no idea whom I'm talking about) you'll understand the reference.)

"Migun" is a therapeutic bed that was developed at least 20 years ago in Korea. It is a therapeutic massage bed that incorporates deep heat massage. It uses massage heads made of Jade which is based upon the principles of "Acupressure, Acupuncture, Heat-Therapy(Moxibustion), Chiropractic, and Massage".

So, how do you feel after being "Migunized"? WONDERFUL! During a recent session I fell asleep and snored for most of the time I was on the bed!

After only 5 sessions, my Chiropractor, the wonderful Laura Skaates, told me that she could see a big difference in my body. Keely cancelled her bi-monthly appointments with a massage therapist because it totally "opened up" her back and Dr. Laura could easily work her magic.

So, how can you get "Migunized" too?

If you're in central Ohio (or anyplace else in Ohio), I can highly recommend Migun of Westerville. If you're in some other state, check out Migun's website for the local Migun dealer. Just please tell them that you heard about Migun from me, Bob Bush, and my favorite Migun dealer, Migun of Westerville.

Oh, did I tell you that you'll get twelve 30 minute sessions for free?

Thank you Sue for bringing Migun to Westerville, for spending your time at the Asian Festival this year to introduce people to Migun, and for all you've done to help make this happen. Thanks to Nicole too for all of your invaluable assistance, professionalism, and smiles, and your first sale...

Sunday, June 1, 2008


Through early morning fog I see
visions of the things to be
the pains that are withheld for me

Remember these words? No? For years they were part of the American landscape at least once a night every week. These days you can hear them every night on cable TV. Here's a little more.

I realize and I can see...
that suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.

If you haven't figured it out yet, the name of the song is "Suicide is Painless", and it was from the movie and television show "M*A*S*H".

Don't go flying off the handle. I'm not advocating, or planning suicide, although I am of the opinion that there's no real difference between suicide and death (but that's a totally different posting). I've picked the song because to me it symbolizes change on many different levels.

The show focused on a group of people caught in a senseless war, trying to save lives, and sanity. It emphasizes the insanity, and incompetence of those in power. It made us laugh, and it made us cry.

I just got back from the grocery store, and felt like I was in a wasteland. Prices had skyrocketed. I was going to buy mangoes but they were $2 each, and they weren't even organic. I wanted an avocado, but they looked old and shriveled, and were also $2 each.

I watched the people loading up on chips, and cheese, and red meats, and soda pop, and sugary treats, until their baskets overflowed. They waddled down the aisles with their thighs rubbing together, as they pushed their carts to the next item of gluttony, and those were the men.

I felt ill.

I am not proud of America at this point in our history. We watch as children die on the battlegrounds of the Middle East so that we can drive our 10 mile per gallon (or less) SUV's and "pick-up trucks with our NRA approved rifle racks in the rear windows". (Thank God that Charlton Heston died before "Soylent Green" became a reality...or is it?)

We run to our doctors, demanding the most recent drug that we saw on TV to control our bladders, or our heartburn, instead of taking responsibilities for our lives.

We allow incompetent men and women to continue to lead our nation further and further into disarray.

I guess suicide isn't that bad. We're all doing it through our diets, lifestyles, and by failing to take responsibility for ourselves. Its just taking a lot longer than normal.

Just a little ray of sunshine this week ain't I?

Saturday, May 24, 2008

THE FINALE (Without Epilogue)

"The best laid schemes o' mice an' men/ Gang aft agley."

-Robert Burns

After walking all day in Salem, MA the last thing I really wanted to do was go out to dinner for another big meal. I could have gone back to the hotel, and curled up for the night without any problems, but we had reservations for 7 PM, and Keely had her heart set on eating out. (Thank you again Mr. Burns!)

Our dinner plans on Saturday took us to Beverly, about 10 minutes north of Salem. We stopped at a beach, and I walked in the Atlantic. I figure you can’t go to the east coast without trying to freeze some part of your body off.

Dinner was at Robert Reid’s “Organic Garden Café”. Several years ago I drove from a Peace March in Providence, RI to eat at the Café. It was my first experience eating out at a real raw restaurant.

The food was as good as I remembered it to be. There are a few cooked items on the menu like steamed rice, or a regular tortilla, that can be substituted instead of the raw soaked wild rice, raw nori, or a leaf wrap. Keely had a raspberry lime “Ricky” to drink that was great, and the apple crumble dessert was really tasty. For our main courses I had the Veggie Burger Plate with raw onion rings (top picture) and Keely had the Sampler.

If you don’t want to make the trek into North Boston, make sure you make reservations for the Organic Garden Café in Beverly, Ma. when you're in the New England region.

I had planned on leaving the hotel around 11 AM on Sunday, and eating at “The Grasshopper Vegan Restaurant” in Allston, MA, but we were too close to Salem. Keely hadn’t gotten to spend time in the old graveyard, so we checked out and headed back into town.

To make a long story short, Keely got her pictures, I discovered that a crypt isn’t that uncomfortable to stretch out on in the sun for a short nap, and we got lost again trying to get to lunch in Allston.

The problem with Sunday lunch was that we had to drive again through downtown Boston. I’d like to know who the hell decided that it was a good idea to put on and off ramps in the middle of a tunnel. I mean really! That’s like putting ramps in the middle of a bridge over Boston Harbor. (I’m sure they’re probably there too, but our route didn’t take us there.)

Once we found the proper highway, and a parking spot, we had our last meal in the Boston area at “The Grasshopper Vegan Restaurant”. The Grasshopper isn’t raw, but it is vegan, and it is Vietnamese. As you should know by now, I won’t give up Vietnamese food whenever given the opportunity to imbibe. The servings were so big that we thought we were sitting in a restaurant in HaNoi.

Of all our meals this was the least expensive. We had “Chicken Fingers” (top picture) and BBQ “Pork” on lettuce as appetizers.

I had the “Spicy Curry Vegi-Squid with Onions, Mushrooms, Peppers, and Lemon Grass” (top picture). Keely had “Sautéed Spinach with Garlic” with spinach that was piled at least six inches deep on a huge platter. Needless to say we had more than enough for dinner.

I ordered the “Vegetarian Nori Rolls” to go. These were a wonderful surprise. Instead of using rice, they used rice noodles. The nori rolls were a lot lighter, and easier on the palate. I plan to try the same thing using raw Kelp Noodles!

If you’re a vegan, or not 100% raw, “The Grasshopper” is a really great alternative in Allston, MA.

The remainder of the trip was uneventful. I collapsed at the Courtyard by Marriott on Sunday night in Moosic, PA. We spent some time on Monday replacing the headlight that decided to die on us during Sunday’s drive, and finally arrived home at about 10 PM Monday night.

The total mileage was 1674 miles in 5 days. I didn’t think that my ass could be any flatter, but it is. My one regret is taking a wrong turn, and having to merge on to the Ft. Pitt Bridge at the height of rush hour in Pittsburgh on Monday night.

But, all in all, it was a trip we both needed, and deserved.

To those of you that had to huddle in your cellars in Central Ohio with the tornado sirens blaring, just remember that it was sunny and 65 in Salem on Sunday, May 11, 2008.

A special thanks to Katie, Kara and Murmur for watching Clyde and Dove Cakes. They've grown to love you as much as we do.

Of course we need to thank Dr. Laura Skaates, DC too for getting us ready on Wednesday before we left, and putting us back together when we returned to Westerville after a long drive. What would we do without her, and the rest of her staff! (Thank you for recommending another massage too!)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


After wallowing at Grezzo on Friday night I honestly didn't want to do much for a couple of days. I was happy. I was feeling sated and could have curled up in the sun like a Cobra, and let my body digest a fantastic meal for at least a day before heading back to Westerville.

Unfortunately, I wasn't the only one in the car. Least you forget, Keely was with me, and as the beaches of the South China Sea and the Buddhist Temples of Central Viet Nam might pull at my heart ... Salem calls Keely like a swallow returning to Capistrano.

So, off we go in search of the official Witch of Massachusetts, Laurie Cabot.

If you haven't heard of Laurie, you're not a crazed Halloween fanatic like my wife. I have bats hanging from the fireplace tools in the living room. Elves peak out from the railing leading to the second floor. Our bedroom looks like a horror house (but that's another issue!)

I doubt that there's a reader that hasn't heard of the Salem Witch Trials. Sometimes I think that what happened in Salem isn't much different than what "W" has tried to do to the Gay and Lesbian Community in the U.S., without the hangings...wait a minute....

Moving on before I get myself into even more trouble.

Our hotel in Danvers was even closer to Salem than Grezzo. After about 15 minutes we found a free parking lot just off the main street, and went in search of our first "Wiccan" shop.

A lot of people hear the words "Wiccan" or "Witch" and immediately think of Satanism. Thank you Hollywood and the holy rollers of America for spreading this misconception. In my opinion Witches, and those who practice Wicca were the founders of what is now called the Green Movement in America.

Wiccan's are people who believe that we share the planet with the planet. All life is connected, and we are stewards.

Witches don't do harm, not even to themselves. They can be found in all walks of life. Who knows, you might even work for a Witch (be nice now!).

We didn't start out looking for Ms. Cabot's shop, "The Cat, The Crow, and The Crown", but followed Keely's usual pattern of visiting every nook and cranny of each shop, while I hunted either a bookstore, a coffee shop, or a nice sunny spot where I could "people watch".

I got lucky and found a great little coffee shop called the Gulu-Gulu Cafe that serves wonderful coffees and beer. What more can a man ask for? I sat reveling in a huge cup of flavored coffee, listening to some really off-the-wall music, relaxing in an eclectic atmosphere....and then the cell phone rang.

We continued on our journey in search of the Official Salem Witch, hopping from shop to shop. My next stop was a book store where everything was 50% off, and books were literally stacked to the ceiling. I'm not kidding. I think I heard books go flying at least 5 times while I was there, and I know that two of the avalanches were due to me!

We finally made it to the wharf shops where "The Cat, The Crow, and The Crown", is located sometime around 12:30 PM or so. In my usual fashion, I had seen everything I wanted to see in about 10 minutes, while Keely hadn't finished the first shelf of goodies. So I went outside and found another bench to sit on and smell the sea air. I didn't realize at the time, but there was a method to her madness.

Like a Komodo Dragon in search of a meal, Keely was waiting to meet Laurie Cabot. She knew that Laurie was giving a reading and should be done on the hour. My wife, who hates to talk on the phone, became a paparazzo out to get a picture of Mariah Carey's wedding!

At about 15 minutes after the hour my cell phone rang, and Keely asked me to come back into the store to take her picture with the Official Salem Witch, Laurie Cabot. My quiet wife, had just spent the last 15 minutes with Ms. Cabot, and got her to agree to a picture with her, despite signs all over the store which said "NO CAMERAS OR VIDEOS". Will wonders never cease!

Our trip might have ended at that point but we still had two restaurants we had planned on eating at. The first was the "Organic Garden Cafe" in Beverly, MA. This is probably the oldest raw restaurant on the East Coast that I know of, and "Grasshopper Restaurant", a cooked, but vegan, Vietnamese restaurant in Allston, MA. (You should know how we are about Vietnamese food by now!

I could rush through these meals, and the last three days of this trip, but I've changed my mind.

Stay tuned for Part IV of IV. I promise there's only four parts to this series...maybe...who knows....

Watch for "THE FINALE (Without Epilogue)" coming this weekend!

Sunday, May 18, 2008


It is now about 6:30 PM on Friday, May 9, 2008. After several months of planning we are on the last leg of the reason we went to Boston.

We've battled traffic, and the near insanity of east coast drivers. I've decided that the only difference between driving in Boston and Saigon is that instead of all the motorcycles in Saigon, the people in Boston drive cars. Both are just as crazy, in my opinion.

The rain is light but steady. I've dropped Keely off at the restaurant on Prince St. She’s going to run in and ask them where I should park as I weave in and out of traffic. She calls me on the cell phone and tells me to hurry because she's standing in the middle of a parking spot along the street holding me a spot.

The streets around the restaurant are just about wide enough that you can stand in the middle and touch the brownstones on both sides with your arms spread. Parking is at a premium. This is old north Boston. It is an area filled with neighborhood bars, restaurants, and ethnic bakeries that have stood for literally hundreds of years. It is an area of history. I can feel the lives as I drive the narrow streets.

Hurrying back to the spot that Keely is protecting with her body, I see the sign above her head that says "resident parking only, permit required". I imagine taking a cab to bail our car out of the Boston impound lot somewhere in another state, and wind up in a lot four blocks north of the restaurant. Keely has my rain coat.

But we have finally made it to:

Grezzo? You mean you haven't heard of Alissa Cohen's new restaurant at 69 Prince Street in Boston? My heart goes out to you. If you haven't heard of Alissa Cohen, or her new restaurant, you are in a drug induced coma, and under the control of aliens from the planet Rombulus that is circling a star 500 light years from earth.

Alissa has one of the top raw foods recipe books you'll ever find. The only thing she's done that is better is to open Grezzo.

Grezzo opens at 5 PM. It is small, seating only about thirty people. But Grezzo, like her owner Alissa, is full of energy, vitality, love, and creativity.

The staff is outstanding. They couldn't have made us feel more welcome. It was like sitting down in someone's home. But unlike a home, I would highly recommend making reservations. Ours were made the first day reservations were accepted.

The menu changes on a weekly basis. Alissa, and the staff at Grezzo, are committed to providing the highest quality, fresh organic foods available.

I had pretty much decided weeks ago what I was looking for, and unfortunately, I wasn't in top form after two days of driving. Keely, after being able to miss massive portions of the audio book we were listening to because she kept falling asleep, was primed, and ordered the Chef's Tasting for $59.00.

The first course was soup, and it was wonderful.

The soup on the menu was Sweet potato and pink grapefruit soup with red chili, and Thai basil, or Sweet white corn with jicama, avocado and cayenne. Both soups were $8 each. With the Chef's Tasting, you get both soups. Like with any raw food, the flavors were a riot and exploded in your mouth.

Unfortunately we had a problem keeping our mouths closed. We were hooked.

Course two was the appetizer. Oh, it just keeps getting better.

The chef's sampler gives you both appetizers. I had already decided that I had to order an appetizer and wasn't about to share with Keely.

Keely's first appetizer was the Gnocchi carbonara. This was a wonderful dish of house-made dumplings, creamy rawmesan and fresh English peas with crispy eggplant and pea shoots. It is listed on the menu at $11 a plate. I've never had the cooked version, and after sampling this one, have no wish to eat it unless I eat it at Grezzo's.

Remembering my dead flesh eating and drunken nights at Ohio State University in the mid 70's when we'd slink off to White Castle for a 25 cent burger, known at 3 AM on a Saturday morning as a "slider" ( aka "rat burger", and "kangaroo meat", normally to be regurgitated an hour later in the most unpleasant of manners) I had to go for a Grezzo Slider.

I cried, and considered offering my body to the chef for the recipe.

The slider was messy. I picked one of them up with both hands, and the tomato and raw blue cheese, slid into my beard, and back onto the plate (not my lap for a change). I wanted to crawl up on the table and just roll in whatevah I wasn't able to lick off the plate.

Keely got one slider with her Chef's Tasting, while I got two for $12. We almost came to blows. I felt like a caveman protecting his kill. There was no way I was sharing. It was fortunate that the plate couldn't soak up any of the slider, or it would have been history.

Alissa stopped by our table several times to talk to us despite the restaurant being packed. She is a wonderful person. She told us that the idea behind Grezzo was to show people that raw foods didn't mean you couldn't eat like a gourmet. Raw foods wasn't just a plate of greens, a smoothie, and some nuts. Raw foods can be as gourmet as you want it to be.

Then one day a friend of hers was sitting at the bar, and pointed out that at every other restaurant in the area he could order a great salad, but in the one raw vegan restaurant in the area, there wasn't a salad on the menu!

Keely had the house salad which was soft baby lettuce with house-made cheese, croutons and green goddess vinaigrette and was listed on the menu as $11, but was included in the Chef's Tasting. Thank you to Alissa's friend!

As we were waiting on our main courses, Alissa showed up with a plate we hadn't ordered. "Here, I want you to try the papaya steak, its my favorite!"

Keely and I looked at each other in disbelief. We weren't expecting this at all, and neither one of us really like papaya. But what could we do? Here was the owner who cared enough to share her favorite dish with us. We couldn't say no!

We looked at the dish and thought something was wrong. This papaya dish which was served with creamy dill vermicelli with marinated cucumber and olive salad, and was listed on the menu at $21, looked like a piece of salmon crusted with star anise. It was even ribbed to look like a piece of cooked salmon with the flesh starting to flake.

We approached it with caution, took a bite, and looked at each other with amazement. It wasn't salmon, and it tasted nothing like the papaya we had prepared at home. It was wonderful, and gave us a new appreciation of a fruit we had turned our nose up at in the past. Oh Alissa, we thank you for caring enough to force our palates and eyes open to the wonderful papaya prepared by a real chef!

I'm getting tired at this point. I'm full, I'm sated, I want to curl up in a corner and fall asleep. I feel like a Roman General who has eaten his way to the top of Mt. Olympus, but we still have two courses to navigate.

Keely ordered the Native tomato ravioli with house-made Boursin, micro mint, Italian parsley and truffle which was listed on the menu as $21. Of course the entree was part of the Chef's Tasting. This was a wonderfully light version. It was satisfying, but not overpowering. It was a work of art and included a great raw Italian bread stick.

Being on the East Coast, I had to go for a dish that reminded me of the Atlantic Ocean, so I ordered the "Land and Sea" for $23.

I have read several reviews of Grezzo online. There was one uncomplimentary review that complained that the servings were too small. I can only believe that this in"duh"vidual was used to bellying up to the local buffet and spending hours at a time seeing how many plates that they could devour for their money. Whoever you are, I'm sure your cardiac surgeon will be happy with their new sports car.

When the "Land and Sea" was placed in front of me, I asked for a box before I picked up my fork. I knew I wasn't going to be able to finish it. The "Land and Sea" is a very earthy dish made of lobster mushrooms, yellow oyster mushrooms and hedgehog mushrooms, smooth ricotta, dulse and kelp . It demands your attention as it towers above the plate with a wonderful salad of greens and mushrooms to the side.

This dish draws you to the very brink of creation. You taste the sea, and the earth. The Chef has created a dish the gives pleasure to the senses and fills you with wonder as to why anyone would ever want this dish to be cooked.

I think it was at this point that Alissa stopped by the table again, and I told her I was considering just titling this blog as "Burp!". In some cultures the belch is the best compliment you can give your host.

And then there was dessert.

I don't think there is a person who practices a raw foods diet that hasn't tried to make ice cream. If you think you've done a great job, like I have in the past, accept the fact that you're a failure at making this dessert. I'm ready to admit my failings after eating at Grezzo.

We decided that we wanted two desserts, but couldn't eat much more. So we ordered the "Rich Brownie Sundae for $11, and asked for the cheesecake to go.

Every time I make raw ice cream it is chunky. It lacks the creamy consistency of a dairy product. The house-made gelato, with chocolate truffle sauce, and brazil nut crumble, was unbelievable. It was rich and creamy, and tasted just like a high end dairy product.

The entire evening felt like we were there for only 30-45 minutes. It was almost three hours. We were both in shock.

I hope that everyone gets the chance to visit Grezzo. Alissa Cohen is a wonderful host, and has an absolutely fantastic restaurant. I tipped more than 30% of the final tab. You might be shocked when I tell you that the bill for the two of us, with tip, was $165.00, but consider that in 1978 I ate at what was considered a five star restaurant, and paid $125.00 just for myself. Grezzo outshines that experience by a million fold! As Keely said “The meal was more than worth the cost of the gas!”

If you can’t make it to Grezzo, do yourself a favor, and buy Alissa’s book “Living On Live Food”. You can get both her book, and companion DVD on her website at: http://www.alissacohen.com/ or by ordering them through your local independent bookstore (our recipe book is now autographed!).

As we walked back to the car and proceeded to get lost for more than an hour in downtown

Boston, trying to find MA-1 north, I kept asking over and over: “Can I PLEASE have the Slider recipe? I promise I won’t tell!” (I can beg worse than any two year old, and I have fifty more years of practice than they've got!) Maybe there's a New York Butterfly....

For reservations at Grezzo call: 1.857.362.7288

You can find them on the web at: http://www.grezzorestaurant.com/

All I can do is say, “BURP!”

Don’t forget to watch for the last installment of our raw trip to Boston: “Keely’s Salem Fantasy Comes True”.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

IT'S ALIVE! (Part I of III)

I bet you've been wondering why I've been so quiet? I've been on vacation.

Several months ago we heard of the opening of a new restaurant in Boston, and decided that it was time for a road trip. When we originally made the decision, the profit mongers on Wall St. and the oil privateers weren't fully encroached in the rape of the American public, so gas wasn't as bad as it was when we left Westerville, OH on Thursday May 8, 2008. But once our plans were made, the threat of McCain actually being elected couldn't have kept me home (although I didn't sleep as well as I could have during the trip).

I guess I could have told you that we were going to be on vacation, but there is that little issue of home security while you're gone. Remember, never put anything on the web that you don't want everyone in the world to know about.

I've been racking what little brain I have available these days as to how to tell you about our trip. I was going to call this blog "Burp!" to begin with, then I decided on "Five Star Raw". I'm going to use "Five Star Raw" but that will be Part II of what I've decided will be a three part report on our trip. Part III will be "Keely's Salem Fantasy Comes True!". (No, it has nothing to do with "Elmo's Bras and Girdles". Take a shower please!)

While the purpose of the trip was to eat at a "raw gourmet" restaurant in Boston (don't worry, I'll give you the name here in a moment), the trip was more than just food. Most of our friends were shocked when they found out we were going to drive instead of fly, but while at times instant gratification is nice, I believe you miss so much of the world by not traveling by land whenever possible.

I was pleased when we left home at 7:10 AM. I think leaving within 30 minutes of our scheduled time is a first for anyone in my family. I remember going on vacation with my grandparents in the 60's. If the plan was to leave by 8 AM, we were lucky to be gone by noon. My grandmother was part donkey. You literally needed to light a stick of dynamite under her tail, or hang a Perfect Manhattan from a stick to get her to move faster than a snail on speed.

For most of the trip we relied on Mapquest. Mapquest has actually gotten a lot better than it used to be. I remember there was a time when it would tell you to turn left when you really should turn right. I'm not going to blame Mapquest for any mistakes made while driving around Boston. I'm a firm believer that the interstate system within 100 miles of Boston was designed by the famous Donatien Alphonse François de Sade, but more on that in Part III.

Don't plan your travel time around Mapquest. The service still sucks in its predictions of the time your trip will actually take. I did better with tea leaves. I'd plan on at least three extra hours, then the recommended "Mapquest" time for any trip. We drove 477 miles our first day, and arrived at the Fairfield in Scranton by 6:15 PM. Just under 500 miles in 11 hours isn't too shabby, and I got to see Detroit kick the Stars' collective asses. (I'm still betting on Pittsburgh in 5!)

The Fairfield was as nice as any Fairfield, and I've stayed in a number of them. Trish checked us in, and couldn't have been nicer, or more professional.

The next leg of our trip was from Scranton, PA to our hotel north of Boston in Danvers, MA. We stopped at "The Promised Land" to fill the car up with "liquid gold". Why they called it "The Promised Land Fuel Stop" I'll never know. I really can't understand how they intend to sell much gas when all the windows have signs that say "No Parking"! How can I fill the tank if I can't park and fill up the tank?

We stayed at the Townsend Suites in Danvers, MA, which is another Marriott property. Some of the Townsends tend to be a little run down, but this one was in great shape! Our hotel was only 16 miles north of the restaurant, and a straight shot south on MA 1. Easy right?

Remember what I wrote earlier? Nothing is easy when driving in Boston....

Make sure to watch for Part II: "Five Star Raw" or "Who's That Lady?"

Wait a minute. Did you really think that I'd tell you the name of the restaurant? I'm not that nice! If I had to drive almost 800 miles to eat dinner on Friday night, you're going to have to wait 48 hours for the answer. Let's see if you can figure it out from this picture of the sidewalk in front of the door.

Not a good enough hint? OK, then I'll give you one more chance. See if you can figure it out from this picture. Ask yourself: "Who's that Lady" with Keely?

If you don't know who Keely is, I'm not about to tell you!

Stay tuned!

Saturday, May 3, 2008

And Now for Something Completely Different

I'm going to wax nostalgic this weekend, and step back to a day when laptops meant something you placed a TV dinner on, and cell phones didn't exist. There were cars, but gas was less than fifty cents a gallon. Let's all step back to 1977.

Some of you might only know of this year through history books. I pity you. It was a fun time to be alive. I was attending Otterbein College, after being too wasted to remember most of my time at Ohio State University.

I invited the woman I was dating back then to go with me to Cleveland to see the World Series of Rock at the Cleveland Stadium. Cleveland Stadium has since been torn down, and replaced with Jacobs field.

To quote Wikipedia: "The World Series of Rock was known not only for its arena rock spectacle, but was also notorious for the rowdiness, rampant drug use and drunkenness of the crowd. One concertgoer fell through a hole in the backstop net while sliding down it and landed on the concrete of the lower grandstand, suffering a fractured spine. The Cleveland Free Clinic maintained tents on site staffed with volunteers."

Yes, the World Series of Rock was like heaven on Earth for any 21 year old.

I'm not sure which event we actually attended. I remember that the drink of choice was anything you could sneak in the stadium in your hip flask, and the drug of choice was marijuana. All you had to do is sit long enough and a joint would be passed to you every few minutes.

I remember a group of women who were sitting in the upper part of the stadium holding a sign up to the group on stage that said "Show us your Tits". The rockers yelled, "Show us yours first and we'll show you ours!" The women showed theirs, the rockers showed theirs, and a fun time was held by all!

I'm only guessing, but I think was saw, Peter Frampton, Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band, the J. Geils Band, and Derringer. I was only there for the crowd, and to...well, you know....

Friday night Keely and I stepped back more than forty years to the mid 1960's. We went to a local ballroom and saw "The Neighborhood Boys", "The Gas Pump Jockeys", "Hurricane Johnny and the Stormfront" and most importantly the "Dantes"!

I'm surprised at the number of people that I know who are coming out of the closet and letting it be known that they used to play in a band. I didn't know for the longest time that a friend of mine was a member of the band "The Ohio Express". You might remember "Yummy, Yummy, Yummy (I got Love in my Tummy)". I'd known Tim Corwin for probably 20 years before I learned of his past.

Keely used to work for Valerie Hayden. Keely found out that Valerie's husband was the lead singer for "The Dantes"! So, when we found out they were going to be playing a reunion concert, we had to go!

The music was great, but I must admit I'm going to have to start therapy. I'd never seen so many people in their late 50's and 60's trying to subtract 40 years or more off their lives! It was truly a sight to behold!

Just to give you an idea. Remember in 1977 the drink of choice was anything in a hip flask and the drug of choice was marijuana. Last night people were drinking "lite" beers, and the drug of choice was "Geritol".

The sign being held up wasn't "Show Us Your Tits", it was just one word "Midol". Why Midol I have no idea, but one woman pointed out that there probably wasn't any one in the crowd that needed Midol. Now if it was "Prevedia" or some other menopause drug....

I decided that I was going to have to call a therapist this next week, when the overweight man in his mid 50's, wearing shorts, a "Jethro Tull" t-shirt, and dark socks, shook his ass in my face.

Oh, and I can't forget the other guy in his 50's who showed up with what looked like a really bad blond toupee, wearing a "bright blue, seersucker, zoot suit"..... I really need help.

Now don't get yourself upset. I wasn't the only one laughing at everyone. The group standing at the railing next to us were trying to figure out if there was anyone there under fifty! Of course Keely had to raise her hand...SHOWOFF!

The night was meant to be fun. It was a night to step back and relive those days of fun in the sun, trying to make it in the back seat of a '56 Chevy, when the local drug store had a soda counter where everyone gathered after school. It was a chance to remember chanting "Hell No We Won't Go", and sneaking out after your parents went to bed.

It was a great night to escape, release, and remember...

Its just too damn bad that those same people have lost their will to stand up to the establishment today, and yell at people in Washington, "HELL, NO, OUR KIDS WON'T GO!". At one time they had the courage to demand an accounting of our President. At one time they had the courage to force a man from office who had a higher approval rating than Bush has today!

OK, if you really must know, while I was out to impress that day clear back in 1977, it didn't work...

Saturday, April 19, 2008

"A Raw Recipe? Don't Shock Me!", said Keely.

Sometimes I feel like pontificating (No, that's not a bodily function! Like my parents used to tell me, "Go look it up in the dictionary... or maybe "Google" it.) But then the Boss tells me that I should do something about raw foods.

So, I was wandering around Gone Raw and came across a recipe for "Spicy Green Beans". I thought to myself, "Damn, I bet that sauce could be tweaked a little bit, and wind up as a great entree." Of course it also helped that I'd just finished watching a documentary about Julia Child.

I hope you enjoy this quick little recipe as much as I did!

Spicy Cashew Noodles

Makes 2 servings

1 bag kelp noodles
1 tablespoon agave syrup
1 tablespoon miso -- dark
2 tablespoons nama shoyu
1 tablespoon water
1 teaspoon chili paste (probably not raw)
1 clove minced garlic
2 tablespoons ginger, minced
1/2 cup cashews, soaked at least 2 hours
1 tablespoon sesame seeds, as garnish (optional)
Cilantro for garnish (Cilantro is always wonderful. I just didn't have any at the time for the picture.)

1) Soak kelp noodles as instructed

2) Blend remaining ingredients, and pour over noodles.

3) Allow it to sit several hours or overnight in refrigerator to allow flavors to infuse the kelp.

Don't be afraid to adjust the spices to your own taste. I love ginger!

Make sure to give me the credit if people like it, otherwise you're on your own with this one!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

East Indian? You Are Kidding Aren't You?

I don't usually eat East Indian food. I don't have anything against it. Well, OK, I do, but let's blame Keely.

You see several years ago I had surgery on my left foot. I'd decided that three surgeries to correct a couple of things, including a large cyst, was what was called for at that stage in my life. So, after the first two, I decided to go the disability leave route instead of walking around on drugs with a cast up to my knee.

Of course the downside of this scenario is that Keely was in charge of feeding me.

I was between raw journeys at the time, which made it easy for her to nuke a frozen dinner. I must admit that she was trying her best, and I didn't complain since I was enjoying my pain killers, but there's only so much Indian a person can eat in six weeks! (Vietnamese I can eat every day!)

For at least five years I haven't touched Indian foods.

Then I found Julie's Raw Ambition, and her "Baby Bhindi: Bhindi Masala with Baby Zucchini". OK, I can eat Indian again, well, raw Indian.

Julie's recipe was ultra easy to make! My one change is that I like plastic zip lock bags. OK, they aren't the most environmentally friendly things in the world, but you can put food in them and it helps marinate your dish. So, I put the onions in a small sandwich bag, and stuffed them on the bottom of the dehydrator. Then with about 30 minutes to go, I stuffed the zucchini in a large zip lock bag, and added the 2 tablespoons of the marinade.

My only complaint is that Ingrid over at Natural Living Cuisine posted another recipe for Broccoli Bites after Julie's recipe was ready to eat, that really would have added to this dish. Ingrid has posted some really great recipes! Next Sunday Ingrid!

Don't be afraid to surf the net, as there are some great people out there putting out fantastic raw recipes! Find your favorites and subscribe to their feeds!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Its Pig Lovin' Livewurst!

So, Keely's been complaining that I need to come up with something totally, 100%, raw post. This is three posts this weekend! Does that mean I get the next three off? Probably not.

OK, here you are, a recipe for "Pig Lovin' Livewurst". How did this one come about? I had a "Dr. Rex Harrison-Dolittle" moment, and found a recipe for What Am I, Chopped Liver? at Goneraw.com. So I decided to look a little further for a liverwurst recipe, and viola!

Don't ask me if it really tastes like Liverwurst. I haven't had any in decades!

So, without further ado I present unto you:

Pig Lovin' Livewurst
(Let my Piggy Live!

Makes 4 servings

1 1/4 cups Brazil nuts
1/4 teaspoon pepper, freshly ground
1/4 cup onions, finely diced
1 tablespoon nama shoyu
1/2 teaspoon paprika, I used smoked
1 teaspoon agave syrup
1/4 teaspoon marjoram
1/4 teaspoon coriander, finely ground
1/8 teaspoon mace
1/8 teaspoon allspice
1/8 teaspoon ground cardamom
1/2 lemon, juiced
1 tablespoon olive oil

Combine ingredients in food processor until smooth. Might have to stop and let machine rest because of the nuts. Allow mixture to sit covered on counter for 2 hours, or place in dehydrator for 1 hour at 110.

Shape into small roll about 2 inches in diameter. Wrap in plastic wrap and place on plate in refrigerator until chilled. I let it ripen in the refrigerator overnight.

The next morning you'll find a lovely roll of "Pig Lovin' Livewurst"!

Slice and serve on raw crackers or in romaine, or other lettuce (just as long as you don't waste your time using iceberg.)

I did something extra special with my "Livewurst". Liverwurst is used to make sandwiches with rye bread, eggs and onions. I made a batch of carmalized onions. and some of Heidi Ohlander's "Deviled eggs". (If you want the "Deviled Eggs" recipe, you'll find it in her Easter Recipe book. Don't be cheap, show her your support. Heidi and Justin support you enough don't they with Raw Food, Right Now?) I used the "Deviled Egg" recipe as a base, added a small slice of "Livewurst" and topped with the carmalized onions. Even Rachael Ray would have to say "YUMO!" (God, that woman makes me cringe. She's right when she says she's not a chef!")

Feel free to share. Just give me the credit if you like it, otherwise tell them you made it!

Oh, I forgot to thank Jeff Bucchino, "The Wizard of Draws" for the great pig clipart! Check him out!

Bon Appetit! (or whatevah!)

How About a Quickie?

Keely and I have a set schedule of Tai Chi Saturday mornings and then grocery shopping. Our major mistake is not packing a small snack to eat between the two. The lack of food results in much snarling and gnashing of teeth.

On Saturday we ran down to the Clintonville Community Market, which is our favorite co-op in Columbus. I was starving! I hunted throughout the grocery, fighting the urge to grab a vegan bologna sandwich that the market makes fresh every day, or a "Whoopee Pie", or something just as decadent, from Patty Cake Vegan Bakery. Then I saw the Love Force and Deep Root's raw products.

Grabbing a pack of Love Force's Sun-Flax Focaccia raw bread, a pack of the Sun-Flax Italian raw bread, and a pack of Deep Root's Red Cabbage, (along with our other purchases), we headed to the car.

The Sun-Flax Focaccia never made it from the parking spot.

I don't want to go too much into what you can do with these two products. Keely and I are tag teaming this one. You'll need to read her Raw Diva Keely blog to learn more about lunch. Let me just say that both of these manufacturers have developed high quality, fantastic products. You might look at the price tag and shiver, but remember, this is quality food. Think how many times you've spent twice the amount on some cancer causing piece of garbage to shove in your body.

When you're in a hurry, or just don't want to take the time prepping food, Love Force and Deep Root have the answer. Quality is worth the money, and the money you spend on Love Force and Deep Root products is money well spent.

Check 'em out!

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Why Do I Eat Raw Foods?

We've all read the books, heard the talks, watched the DVDs. But is there a reason why I'm raw?

I will be posting a wonderful brand new raw concoction in the next day, but I found a cooked foods recipe that explains it all better than I could ever explain my choice:

Serves 12

  • 1 pound lard
  • 2 medium onions -- chopped
  • 2 small apples -- chopped
  • 1 teaspoon thyme
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1 teaspoon pepper

Melt lard slowly together with onions, apples and spices. Let simmer for about ½ hour to let lard absorb flavors. Cool, stirring often, then pour into stoneware container. Keep in refrigerator.

NOTES : This lard is used as a spread on open-faced sandwiches, especially with pickled herring, salami, liver paste or corned beef. Also good on rye bread with cheeses, preferably Danish cheeses such as Havarti, Thybo or Tilsitter.

I guess that every culture has its specialties and that's what makes this planet so rich, but....

Please don't get between me and the bathroom!

Sorry, but I just couldn't help but share this public service reminder with everyone. I guess that lard, apples and onions must be an acquired taste...

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Slug It Out!

Meet my friend. He's a slug.

What's his name? Like you should ask. His name is Sluggo, what else?
Don't ask me how I know that Sluggo is a male and not a female. I don't speak slug, and I have no plans on asking for proof. I doubt if I could tell anyway.

So what's with the slug? Why should there be anything more than the fact that he's a slug.

Look at him. He's long, he's slimy, and he's got two antler's that look like he could be wearing either the crown of a King or the crown of a Fool. But when all is said and done, he's still a slug.

Are we really any different than a common slug?

Strip away the facade. Take away all of the masks we wear. Remove the clothes, the titles, the Botox. Strip away all of the preconceptions and are we other than a mass of atoms, held together in an ideal of an existence. Are we any more than Sluggo?

Or is Sluggo more than what we are?

Look at the slug. He's a slug. He lives in the moment. He has no aspirations other than being. He's not worrying about his idiot supervisor, or whether he can afford the new HD TV that his neighboring slug has in his hovel. He exists, and he lives....

Oh, but I could spend just a moment as a slug. To live in the moment. To be one with my environment, to listen to the world and eat food not to satisfy my ego, but to satisfy my life.

Maybe being a slug isn't really that bad. Be he Fool, or be he King, he is...and isn't that enough?

Saturday, March 29, 2008


What's this crap about watermelon? Well, when you haven't eaten for 24 hours, the experience of having the watermelon juice running down your arms can be the most wonderful experience of your life!

No, I haven't changed my mind. I still believe that a long term fast is harmful to the body, well at least my body. But there's nothing wrong with starting the spring Body Enlightenment System (BES) off with a 24 hour fast.

Yes, the Raw Divas (not the WWE Raw Divas, I'm talking about the beautiful, classy smart Raw Divas!), are at it again. Keely and I are in the thick of things as usual. So what's different this year?

I'm riding a bicycle.

Now most people wouldn't be surprised by that fact, unless you actually knew of my aversion to anything that required an expenditure of energy. But I like it. Because of the rain, I've only been out twice. But that's twice I've actually done the path at Highbanks Metro Park without breaking anything on the bike, myself, or anyone I've passed. (Ite helped that people jumped off the bike path when I got near them!)

I'm enjoying my Schwinn Sierra GS. Its a nice "weekend warrior" 21-speed bike. Don't ask my what I need 21 speeds for. All my bikes growing up had one speed, and it was measured by how fast I could pedal.

So expect more posts as we start a new BES journey, and I learn how to ride a bike after 30 years. (Could I have 25 days in the pool as to when I scrap the first knee!)

My thanks to the people at Performance Bicycles for helping get me back on the path! Here's to my first "century"!

Now excuse me while I go get naked and soak in a herbal bath for the next 20 minutes or so (now you're stuck with that vision for at least the next 24 hours! No, there aren't going to be any pictures!)

Sunday, March 23, 2008

A Blessed Ostara

A blessed what?

Ostara! Oh, come on, its always celebrated around the spring equinox. Its the time when we celebrate the rebirth...

Whoops, wrong religion. OK, let's step back to pre-Christian Europe, and the area now known as Germany. According to Kveldulf Hagan Gundarsson and Gunnora Hallakarva "[t]he feast of Ostara takes its name from the Goddess Eostre, of whom little is known, except that she must have been a Goddess of spring, fertility, rebirth, and the rising sun. Her name is etymologically connected with both the "east," and with a word for "shining; glorious." The Ostara worship was so strong in the Germanic lands that the somewhat similar Christian feast of rebirth and renewal was given the Goddess's name." (Check out their entire article at: http://www.vinland.org/heathen/mt/ostara.html)

So, what did I do to renew myself today? I looked at my new bike. That's right, I've taken another step to health. It sits in the middle of the living room, with the helmet hanging from the handle bars. I probably should have taken it out today, but to be honest, I find myself suffering a little bit from "51 year old male doesn't want to make more of an ass out of himself than normal" syndrome. Oh, I'll take it out this week, and probably do a header, but I thought I'd read the book, and do some surfing on the Internet to figure out how to work the "21 gears". (My first bike didn't have a gear!)

So that was my first move toward rebirth this Ostara. Have I got something else planned? (If you have to wonder, think about why I'd ask the question if I didn't have something up my sleeve?) I'm going on another fast!

Hold on Tonto, I thought you were against fasting. I am. But I'm not going on a food fast. I'm going on a "Digi-Fast". I'm turning off my computer.

Oh, don't worry, I'm not turning off my computer for good. Just for a few days each week when I'm at home. I have to have the thing on at work, but I'm learning that the job is nothing more than a tool. Its no longer my life.

So what has my life become? Like most of you I spend hours on my computer. I download all sorts of things. I surf, I check out the forums, and I post on my blog. Instead of sitting for hours in front of the TV, I sit in front of the computer, while the rest of the world passes me by. The television was called the "boob tube" when I was growing up. Its been taken over by the Internet. I'll admit it: I'M A DIGITAL ADDICT!

So as part of my rebirth this "Ostara" I'm going to eat as close to 100% raw as I can. I'm going to take my bike out and see if I can grow wings when I do a header. And finally I'm going on a "Digi-Fast". At least two days a week, I'm going to turn off my computer. That's right, the switch is going to be flipped off. I'm starting with Friday and Saturday.

I'm going to spend more time with my wife, and friends. I'm going to spend time reading books that will help me connect with my inner self, and I'm going to reconnect with the world around me.

So, what's your plan this Easter, Ostara, Asatruar or Eostre?

Note: I realize that the picture is sickeningly cute. I'm trying to atone for all those rabbits my Great Grandmother used to fix me for Easter Dinner! Just be glad that I didn't use this picture on this post. (Talk about a sickening "Hallmarkesque" moment! ):

To be honest, I was going to post it but my friend Thomas threatened to chew off my....OH GOD NO! NOT THAT! TAKE THE LEG INSTEAD! PLEASE GIVE IT BACK! (Damn rat!)

My thanks to the fine folks at Performance Bicycle for the great deal on my new Schwinn Sierra GS, lovingly named "Flash"! (Don't ask me the name of my Palm Pilot!)

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Try a "Slow"

Before I start, let me remind you of my fundamental beliefs when it comes to your life.

It’s your life to live. No one controls you. You set your own path.

You choose to eat what you eat, drink what you drink. You die when you have fulfilled your goals.

To quote Bill Murray: "It just doesn't matter."

OK, that's not the best quote. Let's change it a little bit.

"It just doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, says, or does, just as long as you are happy in your walk, and harm no one, be it an animal, vegetable or mineral."

That sounds a lot better.

So remember, what I'm about to say is my own opinion. You have to make up your own mind, and decide what makes you happy.

Having said that, let me say: "Fasting of any type really sucks!" (I feel much better.)

For those of you who have been following my "Bob's Legal Lemon" posts on Tera's My Lemonade Cleanse you know that I did a 10 day Master Cleanse fast. For 10 days I had nothing but "Lemonade" during the day, a glass of laxative tea at night, and salt water flush in the morning. By the night of the last day I wanted nothing to do with "lemonade".

Oh, I lost weight, and I'm sleeping better. But by the 10th day I was more scatterbrained than usual. I was on the edge. I was bored with the diet.

But is fasting natural? I've read the books. I know that the "fast/feast" experts say that after a while you might even have a religious experience.

Is it a religious experience or is it the body saying "Hey stupid, get real! Real food that is!"

Over the centuries we have drifted away from nature. We surround ourselves with boxes on wheels, stilts and wings. We flash information around the world in seconds. We want our food fast, and we want a lot of it without any thought of the consequences of our actions.

Then, when our body says "enough is enough", instead of slowing down and giving it the food that will allow it to naturally come back to a balance at the speed that is best for the body, we decide to fast.

Look at the name we give the denial of fuel. We even call the practice "FAST". Instead of working with our bodies we try to ram them back on track "FAST".

Did you ever think that after we've forced garbage upon our bodies, that we might be doing even more damage by a "FAST", when what we really need is to work with our bodies and allow them to seek their own level through a program of healthy food that is meant for the body.

Do you really think that the only way to "detox" is through a "FAST"? Why not detoxing through a "SLOW"?

What the hell's a "SLOW"?

Simple. A slow is a natural diet of high energy foods. It’s a diet for your body.

Bet it sounds easy, doesn't it? Well, a "SLOW" is much harder than a "Fast". It requires you to live with your body. It requires you to be responsible for your body. It requires you to listen to your body.

Responsibility is a word we don't use much these days. Instead we go to our doctors and ask for a pill. We point our fingers and act the victim.

You will probably have to give up some of the food that you like. Why? Because you live in your body, and it just might not like the same things you do.

Your body is a much deeper relationship than a commitment to another being. You can walk away from another creature. The only way you can get away from your body is by dying.

Think about how you want to live. You can "FAST" if you want to "FAST". Or you can start living with your body, and giving it as much respect as you would give to a person you love. Remember, it was the tortoise who won the race by going "SLOW", not the "FAST" hare!

Me? I'm going to take life "SLOW" and smell the roses too.....

(Gee, I wonder if they caught it? Oh, life is so much fun at times like these!)