Monday, May 4, 2009

When Pigs Fly!

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Saturday, April 11, 2009

6 Week Deep Tissue Detox


Spring has sprung!

Time to get those lingering toxins from winter, bad eating habits, pollution and stress OUT of your body to
make room for more energy and vitality!

Sign up for the 6-Week Deep Tissue Detox before beach party season hits!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Dear Rev. King,

Dear Rev. King,

On August 28, 1963, you stood on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, and uttered those famous words, "I have a dream..."

Your dream has yet to be fully realized, but I'm sure that you are proud of how far America has come in electing its 44th President Barack Obama. I just wish it hadn't have taken 45 years to break this barrier.

Congratulations to the United States, to the world....and of course, President Elect Barack Obama and Vice President Elect Joe Biden...

Let the healing begin.

Monday, November 3, 2008

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY SERIOUS

I voted.

You can probably guess who I voted for. But no matter who you vote for, no matter what country you're in, remember to vote (as long as you can vote without some idiot telling you how to vote without an automatic weapon stuck in your ear, or other hole that might allow easy access to your naughty bits).

For those of you who have been hiding like a groundhog, or other mammal that likes to spend its time five feet underground, there was a more serious candidate running for office, with the last name of Palin. Unfortunately, Michael was born in Great Britain, and can't really run for President of the United States (like Arnold).

Of all the emails I've received, I'd like you to read the last email from the "Silly Party" (this one is not that silly).

The somewhat important 2008 election is upon us.

Silly though we may usually be, we at the Committee
to Elect Michael Palin President would like to take
a moment to say, in all seriousness...

VOTE!

Vote like the wind!

Vote like you've never voted before!

Vote like your life depends on it! (It may)

Vote like the ice caps are melting! (They are)

Vote like if you don't then the Spanish Inquisition
will fry you up and toss you into a Spanish Omelet!

Vote like a crazed weasel with its head on fire that
has to vote in order for someone to dunk its head in
a bucket of water, thus dousing the fire and eliciting
a collective sigh of relief from every other potentially
flammable weasel, stoat or ocelot in the vicinity.

VOTE, YOU MISERABLE BASTARD, AS IF BY DOING SO YOU
CAN KEEP AN OIL-DRILLING, WOLF-KILLING, IGNORANT
ALASKAN MOOSE-MUNCHER FROM EVER GETTING HER IGNORANT,
WELL-MANICURED FINGER ANYWHERE NEAR THE BIG RED
ARMAGEDDON BUTTON! (You can)


Ahem.

We believe we've made our point.

*****************************************************
And now back to our regularly-scheduled silliness...
*****************************************************

SPLUNGE!


Until next time...

Your friends at the Temporarily Serious
Though Usually Quite Silly Party

P.S. If you're not a U.S. citizen, please feel free
to close your eyes and vote metaphysically.

Michael Palin for President

11870 Santa Monica Blvd.
Suite 106-535
Los Angeles, CA
90025
US


If you still haven't made up your mind, you might consider waiting outside on your roof for the little green men to take you back to the planet you've been living on for the past 20 months. You've missed it all.

My final thought on this whole campaign:

THANK GOD ITS OVER!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

Tired of having mud shoved down your throat? Longing for commercials advertising the latest in birth control, hemorrhoid creams, or the most recent artery clogging SAD menu at the local fast food joint?

Well, humor is said to be one of the best things to drive away depression. I don't know about you, but after a two year long Presidential campaign, I want it to be over!

Until then, my thanks to Paris Hilton. I'm not a Paris fan, but I must admit that she's brought some much needed humor into this election!

ENJOY!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

HE'S ALIVE, AND HE'S EXCITED!

Yes, I'm alive. I've been glued to my television watching Keith Obermann, and trying to figure out who is winding the "Caribou Barbie" up each morning.

Although this is probably the most important Presidential election in my 51 years this time on the planet, I want to take the time to say:


TURN OFF THAT TELEVISION AND SIGN UP FOR THE NEW BODY ENLIGHTENMENT SYSTEM TODAY!

Yes, there's something more important than the talking heads on television. There's someting more important than the stock market crash of 2008. There's even something more important than trying to figure out whether the dog is going to make it out the back door without making a mess on your nice hardwood floor. YOU are more important than anything else going on in the world around you!

If you don't take the time to take care of yourself, you won't be able to help those around you! You'll wind up with your leg in the air, wearubg a pair of black sheer support hose, because your phlebitis is acting up for the first time in more than 25 years! (I speak from experience! But that's another post.)

So sign up now for the BEST DAMN RAW PROGRAM ON THE INTERNET!
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The Raw Divas have teamed up with Angela Stokes, and Dr. Adiel (“Dr. T”) Tel-Oren, MD, to make this the most exciting and informative Body Enlightenment System ever!

So do yourself a favor, and make a commitment to yourself. At the same time you can have a little fun by making sure that my wife Keely, who is the Customer Service Diva, works her butt off and I get the bed to myself for the next few days! Yes, I'm a bed hog! (No, I don't wear lipstick!)


YOU'VE ONLY GOT UNTIL NOON (That's Eastern Standard Time) ON OCTOBER 25, 2008 TO SIGN UP FOR THE MOST EXCITING BODY ENLIGHTENMENT SYSTEM TO DATE AND TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND AS A NEW MEMBER OF THE RAW DIVAS!


Body Enlightenment System - So What IS Big Bessy??