I voted.
You can probably guess who I voted for. But no matter who you vote for, no matter what country you're in, remember to vote (as long as you can vote without some idiot telling you how to vote without an automatic weapon stuck in your ear, or other hole that might allow easy access to your naughty bits).
For those of you who have been hiding like a groundhog, or other mammal that likes to spend its time five feet underground, there was a more serious candidate running for office, with the last name of Palin. Unfortunately, Michael was born in Great Britain, and can't really run for President of the United States (like Arnold).
Of all the emails I've received, I'd like you to read the last email from the "Silly Party" (this one is not that silly).
The somewhat important 2008 election is upon us.
Silly though we may usually be, we at the Committee
to Elect Michael Palin President would like to take
a moment to say, in all seriousness...
VOTE!
Vote like the wind!
Vote like you've never voted before!
Vote like your life depends on it! (It may)
Vote like the ice caps are melting! (They are)
Vote like if you don't then the Spanish Inquisition
will fry you up and toss you into a Spanish Omelet!
Vote like a crazed weasel with its head on fire that
has to vote in order for someone to dunk its head in
a bucket of water, thus dousing the fire and eliciting
a collective sigh of relief from every other potentially
flammable weasel, stoat or ocelot in the vicinity.
VOTE, YOU MISERABLE BASTARD, AS IF BY DOING SO YOU
CAN KEEP AN OIL-DRILLING, WOLF-KILLING, IGNORANT
ALASKAN MOOSE-MUNCHER FROM EVER GETTING HER IGNORANT,
WELL-MANICURED FINGER ANYWHERE NEAR THE BIG RED
ARMAGEDDON BUTTON! (You can)
Ahem.
We believe we've made our point.
*****************************************************
And now back to our regularly-scheduled silliness...
*****************************************************
SPLUNGE!
Until next time...
Your friends at the Temporarily Serious
Though Usually Quite Silly Party
P.S. If you're not a U.S. citizen, please feel free
to close your eyes and vote metaphysically.
Michael Palin for President
11870 Santa Monica Blvd.
Suite 106-535
Los Angeles, CA
90025
US
If you still haven't made up your mind, you might consider waiting outside on your roof for the little green men to take you back to the planet you've been living on for the past 20 months. You've missed it all.
My final thought on this whole campaign:
THANK GOD ITS OVER!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
Tired of having mud shoved down your throat? Longing for commercials advertising the latest in birth control, hemorrhoid creams, or the most recent artery clogging SAD menu at the local fast food joint?
Well, humor is said to be one of the best things to drive away depression. I don't know about you, but after a two year long Presidential campaign, I want it to be over!
Until then, my thanks to Paris Hilton. I'm not a Paris fan, but I must admit that she's brought some much needed humor into this election!
ENJOY!
Well, humor is said to be one of the best things to drive away depression. I don't know about you, but after a two year long Presidential campaign, I want it to be over!
Until then, my thanks to Paris Hilton. I'm not a Paris fan, but I must admit that she's brought some much needed humor into this election!
ENJOY!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
HE'S ALIVE, AND HE'S EXCITED!
Yes, I'm alive. I've been glued to my television watching Keith Obermann, and trying to figure out who is winding the "Caribou Barbie" up each morning.
Although this is probably the most important Presidential election in my 51 years this time on the planet, I want to take the time to say:
Yes, there's something more important than the talking heads on television. There's someting more important than the stock market crash of 2008. There's even something more important than trying to figure out whether the dog is going to make it out the back door without making a mess on your nice hardwood floor. YOU are more important than anything else going on in the world around you!
If you don't take the time to take care of yourself, you won't be able to help those around you! You'll wind up with your leg in the air, wearubg a pair of black sheer support hose, because your phlebitis is acting up for the first time in more than 25 years! (I speak from experience! But that's another post.)
So sign up now for the BEST DAMN RAW PROGRAM ON THE INTERNET!
The Raw Divas have teamed up with Angela Stokes, and Dr. Adiel (“Dr. T”) Tel-Oren, MD, to make this the most exciting and informative Body Enlightenment System ever!
So do yourself a favor, and make a commitment to yourself. At the same time you can have a little fun by making sure that my wife Keely, who is the Customer Service Diva, works her butt off and I get the bed to myself for the next few days! Yes, I'm a bed hog! (No, I don't wear lipstick!)
YOU'VE ONLY GOT UNTIL NOON (That's Eastern Standard Time) ON OCTOBER 25, 2008 TO SIGN UP FOR THE MOST EXCITING BODY ENLIGHTENMENT SYSTEM TO DATE AND TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND AS A NEW MEMBER OF THE RAW DIVAS!
Although this is probably the most important Presidential election in my 51 years this time on the planet, I want to take the time to say:
TURN OFF THAT TELEVISION AND SIGN UP FOR THE NEW BODY ENLIGHTENMENT SYSTEM TODAY!
Yes, there's something more important than the talking heads on television. There's someting more important than the stock market crash of 2008. There's even something more important than trying to figure out whether the dog is going to make it out the back door without making a mess on your nice hardwood floor. YOU are more important than anything else going on in the world around you!
If you don't take the time to take care of yourself, you won't be able to help those around you! You'll wind up with your leg in the air, wearubg a pair of black sheer support hose, because your phlebitis is acting up for the first time in more than 25 years! (I speak from experience! But that's another post.)
So sign up now for the BEST DAMN RAW PROGRAM ON THE INTERNET!
THE RAW DIVAS' BODY ENLIGHTENMENT SYSTEM!
The Raw Divas have teamed up with Angela Stokes, and Dr. Adiel (“Dr. T”) Tel-Oren, MD, to make this the most exciting and informative Body Enlightenment System ever!
So do yourself a favor, and make a commitment to yourself. At the same time you can have a little fun by making sure that my wife Keely, who is the Customer Service Diva, works her butt off and I get the bed to myself for the next few days! Yes, I'm a bed hog! (No, I don't wear lipstick!)
YOU'VE ONLY GOT UNTIL NOON (That's Eastern Standard Time) ON OCTOBER 25, 2008 TO SIGN UP FOR THE MOST EXCITING BODY ENLIGHTENMENT SYSTEM TO DATE AND TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND AS A NEW MEMBER OF THE RAW DIVAS!
Monday, September 1, 2008
I CAN'T HOLD BACK!
I've been trying to control myself, but I just heard John McCain say during an interview on The Today Show that Americans were happy with his choice. I might give you cause to be pissed off at me, but I hope I'll at least cause you to think.
McCain is right that we're happy if we want to see Obama in office.
HEY JOHN! WAKE UP! YOU'RE HAVING A SENIOR MOMENT...AGAIN!
SARAH PALIN IS NOT ONLY A MISTAKE BUT SHE'S INSULTING!
There, I've said it. I know, but I had to yell it from the roof tops. This is the most important election in the last 100 years.
McCain is right that we're happy if we want to see Obama in office.
HEY JOHN! WAKE UP! YOU'RE HAVING A SENIOR MOMENT...AGAIN!
SARAH PALIN IS NOT ONLY A MISTAKE BUT SHE'S INSULTING!
There, I've said it. I know, but I had to yell it from the roof tops. This is the most important election in the last 100 years.
Now let me explain myself.
Why is she "insulting"?
I shouldn't have to even point out the obvious after she was booed during one of her first forays on the National scene. Its even more obvious as the boos came from the Republican base. But it goes further than that.
John McCain wants to be the candidate of change yet he picks out an evangelical christian who wants to force woman into the dark corners of back alleys if they need an abortion, and who wants to continue the politics of division by denying basic civil rights to honest Americans based upon their sexual preference.
Oh, I am so excited that she's a lifetime member of the NRA, and finds it fulfilling to go out and blow the brains out of a caribou.
Sarah Palin doesn't advance the causes of women in America, she takes them back to the 1960's. So its not a real surprise, as McCain can't seem to move away from the message that he's qualified to be President because he was a prisoner of war.
Why would you pick a person like Sarah Palin as a Vice President? Well, just like Bush, she's an evangelical Christian. We've had an evangelical Christian as President for 8 years and he's been a total failure with the worst approval rating in American history. Nixon was a better President!
OK, she was mayor of a city of less than 7,000, and has been the governor of a state for less than 2 years with a population that is less than the city of Austin, Texas.
Do you really want to take the chance of this person being the President if McCain can't even finish his first term because he's 72 years old?
Well, she does have other qualifications. She was called "Sarah Barracuda" by her High School Basketball team. (Putin is quaking in his boots!)
Ed Rollins, a conservative, and CNN contributor wrote: "she was runner-up for the Miss Alaska title, won Miss Congeniality in that contest and plays the flute."
HOT DAMN! We've got "Gidget the Musician" as McCain's running mate! She can play the "Pied Piper" and get the bad guys to leave their caves in Afghanistan!
McCain has made a big issue out of who is the most qualified leader. In my opinion he has made a case as to why Obama is the best choice for President. In McCain's first big decision he has picked a person with absolutely no real experience to be a Vice President, let alone a President.
Our last president was at least a Governor for a full term, Palin has only been a Governor for two years.
Whatever your religious background, you need to ask yourself if you trust Senator Joe Biden to step in to the office of President, or a Governor with little National experience, and no International experience, but who was once "Miss Congeniality"? Hip, hip, hooray?
Why is she "insulting"?
I shouldn't have to even point out the obvious after she was booed during one of her first forays on the National scene. Its even more obvious as the boos came from the Republican base. But it goes further than that.
John McCain wants to be the candidate of change yet he picks out an evangelical christian who wants to force woman into the dark corners of back alleys if they need an abortion, and who wants to continue the politics of division by denying basic civil rights to honest Americans based upon their sexual preference.
Oh, I am so excited that she's a lifetime member of the NRA, and finds it fulfilling to go out and blow the brains out of a caribou.
Sarah Palin doesn't advance the causes of women in America, she takes them back to the 1960's. So its not a real surprise, as McCain can't seem to move away from the message that he's qualified to be President because he was a prisoner of war.
Why would you pick a person like Sarah Palin as a Vice President? Well, just like Bush, she's an evangelical Christian. We've had an evangelical Christian as President for 8 years and he's been a total failure with the worst approval rating in American history. Nixon was a better President!
OK, she was mayor of a city of less than 7,000, and has been the governor of a state for less than 2 years with a population that is less than the city of Austin, Texas.
Do you really want to take the chance of this person being the President if McCain can't even finish his first term because he's 72 years old?
Well, she does have other qualifications. She was called "Sarah Barracuda" by her High School Basketball team. (Putin is quaking in his boots!)
Ed Rollins, a conservative, and CNN contributor wrote: "she was runner-up for the Miss Alaska title, won Miss Congeniality in that contest and plays the flute."
HOT DAMN! We've got "Gidget the Musician" as McCain's running mate! She can play the "Pied Piper" and get the bad guys to leave their caves in Afghanistan!
McCain has made a big issue out of who is the most qualified leader. In my opinion he has made a case as to why Obama is the best choice for President. In McCain's first big decision he has picked a person with absolutely no real experience to be a Vice President, let alone a President.
Our last president was at least a Governor for a full term, Palin has only been a Governor for two years.
Whatever your religious background, you need to ask yourself if you trust Senator Joe Biden to step in to the office of President, or a Governor with little National experience, and no International experience, but who was once "Miss Congeniality"? Hip, hip, hooray?
Sarah Palin in 1982, Wasilla High School
Anchorage Daily News
Sunday, August 3, 2008
ITS JUST NOT FAIRE!
Where have I been? I have no idea! I've been involved in everything but my own life. Its time to get grounded, and renew!
I can tell you about the last 24 hours. They are the most surrealistic in the last couple of weeks. Keely and I went to the Ohio State Fair.
We had volunteered to help Sue Miller with her Migun booth at the Buckeye Sports Complex. We both enjoyed introducing people to the Migun bed. After a month of having one in our home, we're still hooked! My sleep patterns are more regulated, and Keely's doctor told her that she had the blood pressure of a teenager. Not bad for your late 40's!
Things were going well until I decided to take a walk. I wasn't sure if I'd walked into a Robert Altman, or a Michael Moore film.
It was hot and sticky. There was the bearded lady and the little person holding the python.
People were walking around stuffing their faces with every type of "food" imaginable! Cotton candy, caramel apples, and all sorts of chicken, pig, and cow parts, that were roasted, deep fried, battered, and bruised.
Caligula would have been right at home.
The said it was only 84 F, but with the blacktop, and the crowds, it felt like it was over 90.
Then I got lost, and saw the Bricker Bldg. The doors were closed and I figured it had to be air conditioned. I should have stayed in the heat. It was like walking in to "infomercial hell"!
The Bricker Bldg. had every piece of garbage you could imagine. There was the booth called "Egypt World". Everything for sale had an Egyptian theme, and was probably made in Thailand. There were ladders, and shovels, and siding. I probably could have found that person who grates on my nerves that hawks "Oxy-clean" on the idiot box if I had stayed longer.
Then I heard it. There was band music. Just like in a Robert Altman, or Michael Moore film, a marching band was coming straight down the aisle at me. High School students playing their hearts out, with smiles on their faces, bent on the destruction of sanity!
I would have loved to have known who the idiot was whose idea it was to have a full band walk down the main aisle of a crowded building in the middle of a fair!
There's something innocent about a fair, and something outrageous at the same time. Fairs remind me of how little America has changed. We are still a country of people demanding instant gratification. We feel that because we're Americans we aren't responsible for how we treat our planet and the rest of the counties on this insignificant world (on a cosmic scale).
We screamed when gasoline hit more than $4.00 a gallon. Now that the prices have dropped, we aren't as concerned.
Will I go back to the fair this year? No way in hell!
Should you go to the fair? I'd highly recommend it. A visit to your local fair will hopefully remind you that its time to take a step back, re-assess your life, and take responsibility for your actions.
Oh, one last thing. I'm a political animal. Nothing is more fun than getting steamed at times over the stupidity of those in Congress and the flocks of sheep who walk in awe of their positions in Washington.
We are in one of the most important Presidential elections of the last 50 years, and it is starting to remind me of children playing in a sandbox. Has either party considered how dumb they look to the rest of the planet? I just want to vote and get this over with!
This past week, McCain was proud of the ads he ran comparing Obama to two really stupid looking blonds in the news named Paris and Britney. I have one warning to McCain.
Watch trying to make blonds look dumb. After all, John, you married a blond, who was addicted to painkillers back in the early 90's. Sounds Hollywood to me!
I guess John McCain has even more of a connection to Paris and Britney than Obama has! But maybe McCain's memory isn't what it used to be when he was younger. Although I'm not 100% happy with either candidate, I'll vote for hope, over someone who appears to me to be nothing more than a caustic, mean, old man. After eight years of fear and hatred, we owe America and the world a real chance at happiness.
Hope to talk soon!
I can tell you about the last 24 hours. They are the most surrealistic in the last couple of weeks. Keely and I went to the Ohio State Fair.
We had volunteered to help Sue Miller with her Migun booth at the Buckeye Sports Complex. We both enjoyed introducing people to the Migun bed. After a month of having one in our home, we're still hooked! My sleep patterns are more regulated, and Keely's doctor told her that she had the blood pressure of a teenager. Not bad for your late 40's!
Things were going well until I decided to take a walk. I wasn't sure if I'd walked into a Robert Altman, or a Michael Moore film.
It was hot and sticky. There was the bearded lady and the little person holding the python.
People were walking around stuffing their faces with every type of "food" imaginable! Cotton candy, caramel apples, and all sorts of chicken, pig, and cow parts, that were roasted, deep fried, battered, and bruised.
Caligula would have been right at home.
The said it was only 84 F, but with the blacktop, and the crowds, it felt like it was over 90.
Then I got lost, and saw the Bricker Bldg. The doors were closed and I figured it had to be air conditioned. I should have stayed in the heat. It was like walking in to "infomercial hell"!
The Bricker Bldg. had every piece of garbage you could imagine. There was the booth called "Egypt World". Everything for sale had an Egyptian theme, and was probably made in Thailand. There were ladders, and shovels, and siding. I probably could have found that person who grates on my nerves that hawks "Oxy-clean" on the idiot box if I had stayed longer.
Then I heard it. There was band music. Just like in a Robert Altman, or Michael Moore film, a marching band was coming straight down the aisle at me. High School students playing their hearts out, with smiles on their faces, bent on the destruction of sanity!
I would have loved to have known who the idiot was whose idea it was to have a full band walk down the main aisle of a crowded building in the middle of a fair!
There's something innocent about a fair, and something outrageous at the same time. Fairs remind me of how little America has changed. We are still a country of people demanding instant gratification. We feel that because we're Americans we aren't responsible for how we treat our planet and the rest of the counties on this insignificant world (on a cosmic scale).
We screamed when gasoline hit more than $4.00 a gallon. Now that the prices have dropped, we aren't as concerned.
Will I go back to the fair this year? No way in hell!
Should you go to the fair? I'd highly recommend it. A visit to your local fair will hopefully remind you that its time to take a step back, re-assess your life, and take responsibility for your actions.
Oh, one last thing. I'm a political animal. Nothing is more fun than getting steamed at times over the stupidity of those in Congress and the flocks of sheep who walk in awe of their positions in Washington.
We are in one of the most important Presidential elections of the last 50 years, and it is starting to remind me of children playing in a sandbox. Has either party considered how dumb they look to the rest of the planet? I just want to vote and get this over with!
This past week, McCain was proud of the ads he ran comparing Obama to two really stupid looking blonds in the news named Paris and Britney. I have one warning to McCain.
Watch trying to make blonds look dumb. After all, John, you married a blond, who was addicted to painkillers back in the early 90's. Sounds Hollywood to me!
I guess John McCain has even more of a connection to Paris and Britney than Obama has! But maybe McCain's memory isn't what it used to be when he was younger. Although I'm not 100% happy with either candidate, I'll vote for hope, over someone who appears to me to be nothing more than a caustic, mean, old man. After eight years of fear and hatred, we owe America and the world a real chance at happiness.
Hope to talk soon!
Friday, July 4, 2008
Our New Baby Migun!
Our Migun is here! I must admit that I was shocked the first time I used it.
When I use the bed at our local Migun dealer, Migun of Westerville, I'm out the door in less than an hour. When I used it at home I didn't get the same reaction. I FELL ASLEEP! I didn't wake up for over an hour!
Can you believe a piece of medical equipment that relaxes you so much, while doing great things to your body, that lets you fall asleep? It's un-American!
How does Migun expect Americans to accept a piece of equipment that gives you a deep heat
massage and lets you relax! Americans aren't supposed to relax! We're supposed to be driving the girls to dance class, singing class, art class, soccer, baseball. We're supposed to be working long hours without pay. We're supposed to be eating crappy fast food, and worrying about our hearts, our stomachs, our weight, while our butts hang over our chairs!
How dare Migun present us with a tool that helps to align our body, relaxes our body and mind, and lets us fall asleep, while assisting the body with detoxification?
For shame Migun for selling a product that will actually help us reach our health goals!
I guess I should take a moment to once again thank everyone at Migun of Westerville for helping us down the road to better health. Can you believe that there are people like Sue Miller, the Westerville Migun dealer, who cares enough about people and a product to take the chance on a new career? I stopped by after work on Wednesday, July 2, and the place was mobbed! They were so busy that I let someone else take my spot since I knew my Migun was being delivered on Thursday.
To all those people who were using the beds on Wednesday, don't be so selfish. Do what I did. Buy a bed from Sue! You'll be even more happy if you can get up in the morning, and fall asleep on your own Migun. Let people who haven't been introduced to the Migun use the beds like I did on Wednesday!
No, I won't accept the excuse that you don't have room for a bed. We own a condo, We made room for our bed, and we're damn glad we did!
On a personal note, I think I alluded to knowing Sue Miller in a previous life. That life was 3rd grade at Ranchwood Elementary in Mansfield, Ohio. Well, its worse than that. Not only were we in 3rd Grade together, but in 1st Grade at Ranchwood, and Kindergarten at Woodland Elementary. We hadn't seen each other for over forty years, and didn't make the connection until after we'd bought the bed from her.
Sometimes the universe does something to prove to you that you made the best decision. Learning that Sue and I went to grade school together was that message for me.
You want proof! OK, I'll give you proof! Here's the proof! Here's a picture of both Sue and I in Ms. Mosey's 1st grade class. She's in the last row on the right with her blonde hair, blue dress with big white buttons, and her huge smile! Next to her on the end is her friend Nancy Trbovich. Me? I'm front and center in the first row. I've got the red sweater on that's unbuttoned at the bottom. I was hard to dress even then!
Make sure to stop in at Migun of Westerville at 2509 West Shrock Rd., Westerville, Ohio, 43081 and say hello to Sue. She hasn't changed in all these years. Their new hours beginning on Monday, July 7, 2008, are from 10AM to 6PM Monday through Friday, and 1PM to 5 PM on Saturdays. If you're new to Migun, call ahead and set up a time so they can talk to you about what you can expect. Their number is 614-882-4133.
Where can you find me? I'll probably be someplace, six feet under for posting this picture! ;-)
When I use the bed at our local Migun dealer, Migun of Westerville, I'm out the door in less than an hour. When I used it at home I didn't get the same reaction. I FELL ASLEEP! I didn't wake up for over an hour!
Can you believe a piece of medical equipment that relaxes you so much, while doing great things to your body, that lets you fall asleep? It's un-American!
How does Migun expect Americans to accept a piece of equipment that gives you a deep heat
massage and lets you relax! Americans aren't supposed to relax! We're supposed to be driving the girls to dance class, singing class, art class, soccer, baseball. We're supposed to be working long hours without pay. We're supposed to be eating crappy fast food, and worrying about our hearts, our stomachs, our weight, while our butts hang over our chairs!How dare Migun present us with a tool that helps to align our body, relaxes our body and mind, and lets us fall asleep, while assisting the body with detoxification?
For shame Migun for selling a product that will actually help us reach our health goals!
I guess I should take a moment to once again thank everyone at Migun of Westerville for helping us down the road to better health. Can you believe that there are people like Sue Miller, the Westerville Migun dealer, who cares enough about people and a product to take the chance on a new career? I stopped by after work on Wednesday, July 2, and the place was mobbed! They were so busy that I let someone else take my spot since I knew my Migun was being delivered on Thursday.
To all those people who were using the beds on Wednesday, don't be so selfish. Do what I did. Buy a bed from Sue! You'll be even more happy if you can get up in the morning, and fall asleep on your own Migun. Let people who haven't been introduced to the Migun use the beds like I did on Wednesday!
No, I won't accept the excuse that you don't have room for a bed. We own a condo, We made room for our bed, and we're damn glad we did!
On a personal note, I think I alluded to knowing Sue Miller in a previous life. That life was 3rd grade at Ranchwood Elementary in Mansfield, Ohio. Well, its worse than that. Not only were we in 3rd Grade together, but in 1st Grade at Ranchwood, and Kindergarten at Woodland Elementary. We hadn't seen each other for over forty years, and didn't make the connection until after we'd bought the bed from her.
Sometimes the universe does something to prove to you that you made the best decision. Learning that Sue and I went to grade school together was that message for me.
You want proof! OK, I'll give you proof! Here's the proof! Here's a picture of both Sue and I in Ms. Mosey's 1st grade class. She's in the last row on the right with her blonde hair, blue dress with big white buttons, and her huge smile! Next to her on the end is her friend Nancy Trbovich. Me? I'm front and center in the first row. I've got the red sweater on that's unbuttoned at the bottom. I was hard to dress even then!
Make sure to stop in at Migun of Westerville at 2509 West Shrock Rd., Westerville, Ohio, 43081 and say hello to Sue. She hasn't changed in all these years. Their new hours beginning on Monday, July 7, 2008, are from 10AM to 6PM Monday through Friday, and 1PM to 5 PM on Saturdays. If you're new to Migun, call ahead and set up a time so they can talk to you about what you can expect. Their number is 614-882-4133.
Where can you find me? I'll probably be someplace, six feet under for posting this picture! ;-)
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